You know, I knew all along I was blessed with amazing friends and friendships, most of whom I met at our amazing church (shout out Houston's First Baptist!) but when you are thrown into a foreign context in which you are unable to communicate in the deep and fulfilling way that you are used to, the knowledge of how amazing your friendships in another country are becomes painfully clear. So, this is a love letter to my friends, a diagram of our friendships and a how-to on becoming the best friend anyone could ever ask for.
Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
I have a friend named Susan. We have been together our whole entire lives, since birth. But the amazing thing about Susan is how much she loves me. (wow I am making myself cry right now....psycho.) I don't deserve her. She is the kind of friend who ALWAYS sees the best in me, especially when there is none to be found. I could go, like, kick a blind kid in the shin and she would defend me. She would say I had my reasons, and that I wouldn't have done anything like that if the blind kid didn't deserve it. In our lives together, I have done bad stuff. Like, stuff that if my own children ever even THINK about doing they will be locked in their rooms for months. And despite everything I have ever done, Susan has stood by me, loved me through it, supported me. She took care of me and protected me in my, er, crazier days. And she was right there to cheer me on when I decided those days should come to an end. Everyone, everyone should have a Susan.
Proverbs 27:5-6
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Maybe you have a Deb or a Kristen in your life. (If you don't, go out and get one right now. Not mine, though, find your own.) Deb and Kristen are dream friends for women. Because in so many friendships between women, there is superficiality, drama, shallowness....no depth, no reality. With Deb and Kristen, what you see is what you get. They say what they think, they call you on your stuff, and they love you fiercely. They are the kind of friends where you can go be your slovenly self, walk right in and raid their pantry for Nutella, tell them how many times you yelled at your kids today, and expect zero judgement from them. They are transparent and they speak their mind BECAUSE they know what it is to love in friendships.
When we were moving down here, I told Deb that we were simultaneously going to try to get pregnant, (and I laugh now thinking about it) but Deb lost her mind. She completely forbade me from any procreating and told me in no uncertain terms I was not allowed to get pregnant right now. Because she is wise and she knew how hard the transition was going to be for me, and because she loves me and didn't want my life to be any harder than it needed to be, she laid down the law. No babies for at least 6 months-1 year. (I obeyed. You don't disrespect Deb. ) They are such good friends that when I come over with my whirlwind of crazy boys and mess up their houses and eat all their food and break their stuff and just cause mayhem in general, they only say one thing: When can y'all come back??? They love us with all of our junk. And I love them.
Proverbs 27:17
“Iron sharpens iron; so one man sharpens another.”
And then I've got these girls--I call them Erin, Allison and Leti. Well, actually everyone calls them that because that's their names. Do have friends that just make you better from being around them? Do you have friends where you become a better version of yourself when you are with them? Then you have an Erin, an Allison or a Leti. We have deep conversations. We talk about things we don't necessarily agree on. We can go from a conversation about accessories to theology in 10 seconds flat. When they tell you that they will pray for you, they do. (If it's Leti, right in the middle of wherever you are, be it Sams, the mall, a restaurant, whatever ;) I am blessed to have them. They have been encouragers to me in the most meaningful ways.
First Samuel 18:1
“The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
Do you ever meet people, and you automatically just want to take care of them as if they were your own little babes? No? Is that just me? Ok, anyway, well Jodie and Tiff are those for me. When I moved back to Houston a few years ago, they were the first ones who I got to see and start hanging out with, and our friendship just cemented within days. I feel this intense protectivity over them, I feel like I need to take care of them and make sure they are ok. We maneuvered through the unsure waters of parenting babies and toddlers together. We held each other up through truly scary financial and health problems. Through the deaths of family members. Through life changes and marital strife and toddler melt-downs. Our hearts are knit together to like David and Jonathan, and no matter how far away from them I am, I love them and pray for them and want to take care of them.
John 15:13
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
I have a friend named Brooke. In the midst of the very scary transition and preparation for moving to Mexico, she asked to meet up at Starbucks one day. I could tell she wanted to tell me something, I had no idea what it was, but I could tell she was nervous about it. Well, when we met, we hung out for a while and then she came out with it: She felt like God had told her to do something very specific for me while I was in Mexico. It is scary to do things out of your comfort zone and to do very specific things that God has asked you to do--she equated it to the Beth Moore story of when God told Beth to brush the old man's hair in the airport. And little did Brooke know that I had been dying to self over those previous weeks about that very thing! God showed me such a gracious love that day through Brooke. He said, "Amy, your mind is consumed with everything that will be different and hard in Mexico, but I can provide for your every need (or even 'want' sometimes!) however I desire to do so. Just trust in me." If Brooke hadn't have been the kind of friend who steps out of her comfort zone, who loves her friends despite the cost, I wouldn't have had the blessing of hearing God speak to me in that way. She is real and sacrificial and an amazing example of laying down one's life for her friends!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”
And last, but certainly not least, I have an Emily, Lizzie and Kat. (Good thing none of my friends have the same name huh or that would have been confusing ;) Have you ever met someone and at first, you just didn't know if y'all would grow to be close friends? Sometimes people are very different from you and you don't anticipate a close relationship until one day BAM! it surprises you out of nowhere! I remember the first time I met each one of these friends: I met Emily when we taught VBS together, Kat at a women's event, and Lizzie at my house for bible study. Each one was different than me, and to tell you the truth, I was intimidated by them! Kat is this winsome, holistic mama... and me? Well, they day we met I was probably munching on some cheetos or something. Lizzie is this hilarious, dry-humored girl who loves man movies. I kid you not. Man movies. I once watched The Notebook every night for like two weeks. Emily is this extremely intelligent, extremely mild-mannered, calm individual (who I have also uncovered a little sass in) and I am.....well....belligerent. And not calm. And not mild-mannered. And I truly see now the absolute beauty in having friendships with people who are different than yourself. Especially in the context of christian friendships, studying the Bible together, and working at a church together. I have learned so many things from these girls, they have made me better and it has been a privilege to get know them in all their quirky glory.
These are some of the friendships God has blessed me with. I love them more than life itself. And these are also some great examples of how to be an amazing friend to others. May each of you be blessed with friendships like this!
Well done Amy... :)
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